Movies

Rented two movies this weekend:

Nothing
Saw this movie in Blockbuster and it was so strange I had to get it.
The movie is soooo bizarre. It's hilarious, but it's soo fucking bizarre.

We see these two guys Dave & Andrew that have been friends for 21 years. They are likeable guys but they are indubitable the biggest losers on the planet.

Dave always has his plans go wrong and people at work hate him and pull nasty pranks on him. Dave's girlfriend frames him for a crime. Bummer. Andrew was a nervous guy that got more nervous when his parent died. He now is completely afraid to go outside his some. He works from home as an online travel agent.

One day several things go wrong for both of them and they are about to be killed by a demolition crew, arrested for pedophilia or arrested for embezzlement. Not a good day. Then, nothing...

Somehow, everything just disappears. I mean the guys are sitting in their home. They wonder where all the people who were after them are, and they look outside. There is nothing there...literally. It's just a big, empty white space.

They go outside and find they can walk on nothing, but it's still nothing. Just a plain white, nothing. It's hard to explain, you just have to see the movie. We the viewers, have a pretty interesting movie to watch, since for most of it we don't have any point of reference.

The guys are paranoid of course! I mean, wouldn't you be? It's not like you are the last person on the planet. It's more like you're the only thing out there (besides your home & your buddy). They go off in an excursion into nothing, to find something.

After a few hours they realize that there's nothing out there. It's all gone. Nothing but white. Then they discover that they have these special powers. Yeah, they end up being like mini-gods in this nothingness. What good is it to have awesome powers if there's no one else that doesn't have them? No one would be suitably impressed...

They have a blast for several days doing anything they want. Then of course, things start to go a little haywire. They begin to fight and powers get turned against one another, in a hilarious way!

So we have a loser, paranoid mini-god fighting another loser, paranoid mini-god. The few other things they have start to disappear until they are left alone. Mano a mano now. I really don't want to spoil the ending but it's not a normal one.

That was the most fucking bizarre movie I have seen. I gotta see it again...

So here Dave & Andrew have had a fight and Dave made his anger go away.

Dave: I'm not mad at you. You want to know why? Because I hated it away. Because this is stupid. I mean, we've been friends for 21 years. I don't want to be mad at you. I don't want you to be mad at me. I want us to have fun. I want us to be happy. And I think we can. I mean, I'm out there and I'm all pissed off at you, and then I was like, well, fuck it! We can do whatever we want, right? So I say, fuck being mad with each other. So what do you say? Why don't you take whatever it is that's bothering you about me and just hate it away?
Andrew: Because I don't want to.
Dave: What do you mean? Why not?
Andrew: Because this is something I want to remember.
Dave: Why?
Andrew: Because you're the type of person who abandons his best friend, and that's something I don't want to forget.
Dave: Fuck you! Shit, now I'm mad again.

And there's a part where Andrew hides and surprises Dave. We HAD to rewind that scene because it was just so amazing they way they did it.

11:14
"A dark comedy with killer timing"

That about sums it up. You simply can't get any darker than this comedy.
There are days, then there are those days and then there are those fucking goddamn pissed of wanna scream your fucking head off kind of days. This is one of those days. Well, not 'those' days, but the 'those fucking goddamn pissed of wanna scream your fucking head off' days.

In a small town, lots of really bad things start to unfold around 11:14 pm. A guy tries to hold up a store, a drunk driver hits a guy (or does a guy hit his car?), some guy tries to piss out of a moving car, another guy finds a dead body in a cemetery (no not a dead & buried body. Those are supposed to be there. I mean a recently killed guy).

Much like Memento, the story is told in a backwards sort of way and you get the chance to figure out slowly how all these things are not random at all but very closely linked. It's a great ride!

Like I said before, you just can't get darker than this shit. A friend revisits the scene of a crime they just fled to pick up his friend's penis? And the friend has to pick it up and take it back to him? Listen, I have a few good friends an all but I draw the fucking line at penis touching!!! The state of attachment of both items in question, my friend and his penis, are irrelevant!!! Me being a compassionate guy and all, I would definitely go with my buddy to look for a wandering penis. If I saw it, I would point it out to him, but he would do all the touching.

Get this the paramedics are already there at the scene! They have custody of the penis. The guy has to try & sneak into the ambulance and snatch the penis. Penis theft! Who would've ever though of such a thing?

911: "911. What's your emergency?"
Dude: "Well, a guy just stole my penis!"
911: "Can you please describe the suspect?"
Dude: "5'10. Black jacket, green pants"
911: "Can you please describe the penis?"
Dude: "His name is Eric. About 9 inches and really thick."
911: "OK, an ambulance is on its way."

They never find the penis in the above scenarios. You know why? Because we all lie about the size of our penises!!!! Cops take mugshots of the wrong organs!!!

OK, back to the movie. As the mostly tragically funny events unfold you see that you really shouldn't be laughing but it's so fucking stupid you can't help it!

View trailer