5/24/2006

Mustapha Abdulay

I get a very interesting email asking me for help. Naturally, I am concerned with the plight of the less fortunate and I read the letter intently, to see how I can help...

FROM THE DESK OF:
MR MUSTAPHA ABDULAY.
MANAGER AT AUDT& ACCT. DEPT
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO
ATTENTION: SIR/MADAM

( I REQUEST FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN TRANSACTION )

I am the manager at the auditing and accounting department of Bank Of Africa (B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of US$6.7mdollars ( US dollars) in an account that belonging to one of our foreign customer.
Who died along with his entire family in Monday, 31 July, 2000 in a plane crash in Paris. Please visit this site that is one of the evidence the directors brought in other to swallow the money at the end of the day, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking gildings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent isbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.
The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after fours years, the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn account ,10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me.

Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to your desiggnited bank account ,you must apply first to the bank as a relation or next of kin of the deceased with a text of application that i will send to you,so i will ike you to send to me your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application .

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.
You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.
°1)Dear p/s reply this mail.
°2)your tele number...........
°3)your fax number...........
°4)your photo................with your age......

WHEN YOU DO THIS I WILL FORWARD YOU A FORM THAT YOU WILL FILL
AND SEND IT TO BANK.
Yours Faithfully,
Mr Mustapha Abdulay,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)


Help - 2

I replied,

OK.



Help - 3

Date: Sun, 7 May 2006 03:43:09 +0200 (CEST)
From: "Mustapha Abdulay"
Subject: Re: Reply me immediatly

Dear Ivan

Thank tou for your mail.
To succeed in life one need to be courageous and determined.Without been determined you cannot beat the poverty line.I got your email id from the internet.I dont know you but we have to build trust on each other which is the foundation of any business.
The deceased customer died in a plane crash together with his family.Based on my personal banking experience, it had happened in the past,when a customer died and after several years the fund automatically transferred to the reserve treasury as unclaimed fund, that experience ignited my thought to this deal.

It is my pleasure to inform you that this transaction is also 100% risk save, you should not entertain any atom of fear because I’m here to feed you with the whole information that might be required during the period of this transaction, in as much as you obey my instruction, success will be ours sooner than your expected.I cannot make this claim alone except with a foreigner.

I am just an average civil servant here in the bank and wouldn't like to miss this Golden opportunity.We have to develop our friendship strongly so that our partnership will be a successful one.I promise I will not let you down. I want you to know that this transaction is going to join our families together because I will quit my job after the money has been successfully transferred to your account and I make sure I delete all necessary information’s regarding this transaction in the banks file to avoid any trace.

That is the fact that i will take much of risks being in the bank.
But as really you are decided to help me, we can always get along.
In all the ways the money will be transfered in your account and in any case I cannot have money without you and me not getting along.

My family will join you once the fund is credited into your account.I have to wait a little after the transfer to avoid quitting my job unceremoniously probably not to make the bank suspect me that is why my family will be with you first so that you people will withdraw some money and commence on some investments under your supervision.I don’t want you to leak this secret to outsiders so that our secret will be forever to avoid any body knowing how we made our fortune. In all your correspondences with the bank, don't let the bank know that you have any contact with me as that may create room for suspicion.

I hope you will continue in your honesty while I promise to do my best to see that we are victorious. We don't need to delay so much because the bank has already made it clear that this fund will be transferred to the reserve bank of Burkina Faso by the end of this fiscal year auditing.

If there is anything urgent, you can always call me on +(226)70704697 and do not forget that this transaction will not last more than 21 working days once you follow my instructions.I pray we will invest wisely in your country once this fund is remitted.
Reply me as soon as possible so that I will tell you how we will proceed with the transfer processing.

Yours Truly,
Mustapha Abdulay



Help! - 4

Date: Sun, 7 May 2006 03:53:09 +0200 (CEST)
From: "Ivan"
Subject: Re: Reply me immediatly

Mustapha,

Thank you for replying so quickly. I have been going through a rough financial period and I have been praying to the dear Lord for help. Imagine my surprise when I find your email waiting for me!

Although this is a new thing for me, I agree with you that like the Good Book says, "God helps those who help themselves". Any obstacles or fear that would naturally arise in my heart are obstacles that God has chosen me to overcome. I will be as courageous and determined as you are so we can both benefit.

Trust in my confidence Mustapha. I understand that you are taking a risk in doing this and I simply do not want anyone to lose their job on account of anything I did. I could not forgive myself should that happen.

I look forward to welcoming your family to this great country. However, I am concerned because I do not live in a very large house. I live in a small condominium and I do not have enough room for many people. How big is your family?

Ivan



Help - 5

Date: Mon, 8 May 2006 01:34:52 +0200 (CEST)
From: "Mustapha Abdulay"
Subject:Re: OUR TRANSACTION

DEAR IVAN,

THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAIL.TO PROCEED WITH OUR TRANSACTION I NEED THE FOLLOWING DETAILS:

YOUR BANK NAME:
YOUR BANK ADDRESS:
ACCOUNT NUMBER:
SWIFT CODE:
ACCOUNT HOLDER NAME:
YOUR HOME ADDRESS:
YOUR OCCUPATION:

WITH THE ABOVE INFORMATION I WILL PREPARE AN APPLICATION FORM AND SEND BACK TO YOU.AWAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

YOURS TRULY,

MUSTAPHA ABDULAY.


Help - 6

Mustapha,

This is so exciting! You see, I am elderly and my son doesn't visit me very often. He only comes by when he needs money and he always tells me how he knows more than I do. I would simply love to make him eat his words! Hopefully, with your help, I will finally get the respect from him that I have lost.

I know it's hard to believe but in this country, the young people do not respect the elderly. We are thought of as a burden and not as a source of wisdom. I hope your culture is not similar.

No one except my son visits me. I am very excited at the prospect of having some company over. You never did tell me about your family. How many children do you have? I hope you have a daughter. I always wanted a daughter but I had two sons. One of them died in the war.

I am truly grateful for this opprotunity and the friendship we are developing. It seems that people nowadays do not want to take the time to connect with each other. I am truly blessed you have chosen me as your partner.

You asked me for my picture before. It took me a while to find a recent one that I would like to share but I finally found one! That's my favorite hat!

Hope to hear from you soon,

Ivan

Me


Help - 7

Date: Fri, 12 May 2006 15:27:10 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Mustapha Abdulay"

Mustapha,

I am quite worried. I have not heard from you in a few days. I thought of you today and that is why I am writing. My son visited me today and I visited him. I went to the cemetery and laid a live bullet on his grave in his memory. I told you he perished in the war right? I was very sad today but I always cheer myself up by thinking that he passed on doing what he loved to do, wash cars. It was unfortunate accident involving young soldiers, wet sponges, a jeep and an antique single shot pistol. I'm sorry. I really can't go into any more details. I get really sad when I think about it.

But my other son came by and you know what he was asking for right? Money. That's all I am good for. You would think that he could at least wait for his inhertiance. It's not like he needs it. I have given him everything he has ever wanted and he knows how much he will get when I join his brother. Why is it that the good one disappear so quickly. I know it is a terrible thing to say but I feel so used when he asks for more money. Do you have any idea what he wanted this time? He wanted to buy an Italian sports car! He already has three of them! Why would he want more? You can't drive all those cars at the same time. I think I gave them too much when they were young. Do you think I was too generous? I hope not. I really like helping people and I would be very sad if I made that kind of mistake.

My son did tell me that I have this spam filter thingy that prevents email to get to me. Is this true? I'm not very good with these new computers. I hope that your reply did not get stuck in this spamy thing. I wouldn't know how to retrieve it.

Please let me know you are ok. How is your family? I hope you did not get in trouble at work. Can we still do this deal? I would LOVE to surprise my son...that bastard...

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2/02/2006

Moving

Moving here

2 Comments:

At 12:33 AM, Blogger Pablo said...

I refuse... I like it here... don't make me move my links!!! i like this format... no .... NO.... NOOOOOOO! Don't move!!!

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger ice1000 said...

uhhh sorry about that. Your comment is a bit late.

I received another comment that went along the lines..."I really don't fucking care about the format, I'm interested in the material"

I thought you all felt that way and it has been moved! Please post your complaints in the new location...

 

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1/21/2006

Should I Move This Blog?

OK, I purchased a webhost account that is relatively inexpensive.

The package came with B2Evolution. I managed to import this blog into the new blogging platform.

What are the benefits of the new platform? I can categorize my blog posts, readers can choose to change the look of the blog, there's a calendar of posts, etc.

Please take a look at my new blog here and let me know if you guys (my regular readers & any new ones!) think I should move it over!
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1/18/2006

What if We Knew?

I was musing the other day about our ("our", meaning humans in general) fear of the unknown. That led me to take that fear to its ultimate conclusion. What is the greatest fear of the unknown possible?

It would have to be the fear of Death. That's the greatest unknown of all isn't it? Granted, we all have our belief systems and our teachings to follow, but we don't know for sure what's going to happen after we pass away. A precious few of us have actually realized, while alive, what awaited us. Jesus, Buddha, various saints, etc.. reached a state whereby they could attempt to teach us what awaited on the other side. However, although their writings are readily available, it seems that this knowledge must be experiential in nature.

So I kept thinking. What if? What if, through some scientific discovery, everyone on the planet was given irrevocable, substantive, irrefutable proof of what happens to us after we die? How would our society change?

Yeah I can already foresee that there will be a tremendous social unrest but how will be continue to behave after things settle down?

OK so let's see what the options are. We all could find out that,
  1. Nothing Happens. We die. We are extinguished, no more anything. Pretty dismal.

  2. Reincarnation - We come back to work off bad deeds until we end up at Mystical Union.

  3. Mystical Union - The good are united with God. The bad go to Hell.



Nothing Happens
I think a great majority of people would feel incredible sorrow with the more religious ones wallowing in despair. The basic underpinnings of most religious dogma would be swept away in one stroke. The Pope would have a hard time justifying his job. People would emigrate from the Vatican. George Bush would have to find someone else to choose him as President. The 'Born Again' movement would be converted to the 'Born' Movement.

Suicides would probably rise. I'm sure a few of them would be valiant and try to disprove the new knowledge despite evidence to the contrary. Poor souls....ahhh...maybe not, they don't have any in this scenario!

Christians, Muslims, Jews (Shit!! He never showed up in the first place, that bastard! At least the Christians had a few millennia of delusion going for them!) and Hindus would sit around and have a good, long laugh. Atheists will not be invited to this cookout.

What about the minority? The everpresent ignorant fuck ups? Well, they would go on a rampage!
"WTF?!?! There's no ultimate punishment? I'm gonna live it up! Loot, pillage, rape, the things that make life worth living!!! Go to town! Tear up the town! As a matter of fact, tear up anything you can get your hands on! No eternal repercussions!"
I had my eye on this cute blonde the other day...now there's nothing stopping me!

And then there's the Terrorists. They would have the hardest time accepting this ultimate reality.
"What do you mean, NO AFTERLIFE?!?! I was trained and trained (how much training does it take to press a button?) and now THIS?
What about my 72 virgins? I WAS PROMISED 72 VIRGINS!!!

So sorry, Go Straight To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200.
Listen pussy galore, they fed you a nice, very nice fantasy but it ain't gonna happen! HALALALALALALA THAT, MUTHERFUCKER!


Reincarnation
Hindus would party like it's 1999, all over again. Christians would despair but the wallowing would be severely curtailed. The Pope would find a sentence fragment in the Bible to support the new afterlife structure, thereby remaining employed. Churches worldwide would adopt the slogan, "Ohh no, not AGAIN!". The phrase, "Don't I know you?" takes on a whole new meaning. "Haven't I seen you before?" becomes the most effective pick up live EVER. The Energizer Bunny develops a cultlike following.

The miscreants continue to miscre. Why not?
"I can take my time and pillage ALL the towns on the planet! I just need to keep chugging along. If I miss a few this time, I'll get them the second, third, fourth time around! At the end of your escapades, you can honestly look down on all your friends at ANY bar and confidently say, 'Yeah. I did her.'"

Mystical Union
Christians party like it's 1999. They then proceed to assert their superiority and start a whole new wave of Crusades against every other religion. The Pope gives himself a raise. A collective "ooooh SHIT!!" is heard around the world. Church attendance skyrockets. The Church begins to sell indulgences again, this time via the Internet.

The criminals? They continue to commit crimes. What?! How can that be? Well, has the death penalty acted as an effective deterrent to the commission of crimes. Maybe marginally, but not to an appreciable extent. In their youth, if a hard spank didn't deter them, is the far off threat of a searing hot jet of acid being squirted up their ass going to deter anything? It's the same punishment. The only thing that changed was the severity.

In summary, regardless of what we find out, were still in bad shape. A few will be happy they were right and the rest will follow their lead. Gloating will always occur. The hooligans will always be there regardless of the outcome.

The eternal search for the nature of the afterlife is moot. Knowledge will not change anything. If we wanted to change, we would do it without proof.

We are who we are and where we go won't change that.

1 Comments:

At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this very funny! But I must say that there ARE some people who have changed or altered their behavior because of their belief in karma and the afterlife. I know, because I'm one of them! While I agree that the masses haven't changed dramatically, and there's still a lot of fear-based behavior in our world, there are more and more people becoming more enlightened and "awake."

Jeanne

 

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1/10/2006

30 Second Movies

See your favorite movies enacted by rabbits in 30 seconds!

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