Found a home!

To all,

I am happy to announce that I am now officially a homeowner! My 11th offer for a home finally came through. This particular condo unit STILL appraised under the sale price, but the seller actually came down to the appraisal price...a definite anomaly in this market.

Of course, me not being normal, I shopped around for a cheaper mortgage broker. I found a cheaper one but then guess what? The Florida legislature, in their infinite wisdom, decided in 2003 that appraisals could not be transferred from one bank (or broker) to another. Why did they do that you ask? Why, in order to cut down on fraud. Now now, this had nothing to do with the real estate lobbyists wanting more business for their members. That would be fraudulent! That kind of behavior is not tolerated in this State!

My new & improved broker got the lender to give me a credit for a new appraisal. So I had another appraisal done on the same property. Luckily, it appraised for the same amount!

I had the closing today (April 21). I met the seller, a very nice elderly lady (in her 80's). I made friends and she told me that last week she fell and broke her coccyx (no lie). I thought that really was Too Much Information, but what the hell, it was a closing, I was the buyer, it was my party, so I welcomed any and all coccyges that wanted to attend. No other coccyx's showed up. Upon further research I found that they had an annual convention today in Uranus, so they were indisposed.

However, we did have a closing crasher. We heard the receptionist, call out, "Sir! Sir!", and then a not too shabbily dressed man burst in our closing room. He very purposefully gave each of us a nice laminated card. Since we chose to close at my realtor's office and he has many nice little perks for his clients (parties, raffles, referrals for contractors etc.) I thought this was part of it. The card was very nice and explained the alphabet in sign language. I was surprised to have a big, dirty index finger shoved in front of my face and I heard a "WAAHHHHNNN DOOOOWWWWWWLLLLAHHHHHH". Quickly realizing that I did not have that many deaf friends and that if push came to shove and I desperately had to communicate with a deaf mute, I would simply resort to the written word, I returned his card.

The man was quickly escorted out of the premises and then I realized why the receptionist had previously yelled out so many times to no avail. I guess he really was deaf. It's nice to see the handicapped going into business for themselves.

Jeanne and I went back to my new abode and called a locksmith to change the locks on the front door.
Jeanne: "Hi, we just drove by 79th street and we can't find your place."
Locksmith: "That's because we're closed!"
Jeanne: "Does this mean you are out of business?"
Locksmith: "YEAH"

Jeanne tells me the exchange and I wonder out loud...ummm...if they are out of business, why is he answering the phone???

We found another locksmith that was solvent and got the locks changed. Now I can sleep without fear of deaf mutes pandering for a dollahhh.

I will be having a painting party soon. Please let me know if you are interested in light manual labor with noxious fumes that cause hallucinations & narcosis (if you're lucky). I will gladly supply the Pizza, Coca-cola & paint. Yes yes yes, Jeanne will be there.

I may also need some medium level manual labor to help me move the few pieces of furniture that I will not be donating to Goodwill.