Update #15

Further Bathroom Mishaps
The other day Jeanne and I were browsing around in Best Buy. I am seriously considering buying a 1GB memory card for my phone & camera.

As we were walking around, Nature called...urgently. I found the bathroom an proceeded to do my business. So, I'm sitting there and I begin to have an SMS conversation with Jeanne. No philosophical discussions but just a few short messages as I let gravity do its job.

Another guy walks in and proceeds to pee. He finished and as he walks out of the bathroom, he turns the light switch off! Can you believe it!!! Best Buy in their infinite wisdom left the light switch for the bathroom right by the door! This isn't a home, you know!!!

So there I was in QUITE a predicament. Pitch black darkness and me doing my business. I didn't know what to do so I did the most natural thing, I finished what I was there to do. Let it not be said that I do things half assed!

I know had a pretty good idea of how blind people feel when they go to the restroom. However, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't figure out when they (or I) would know when to stop wiping. I mean, you know, you have to do it at the end because if you get it half way you'll use up a whole roll of toilet paper undoing your mistake. By the way, I didn't have enough toilet paper on hand to make those kinds of mistakes. No pressure...

I'm sitting there much like Dante Thinking, trying to figure out a way out of this puzzle. I get another SMS from Jeanne.

"Hey!" I think, "maybe I could SMS her and she could reach in and turn on the light."

I quickly discarded that notion because if Helen Keller could do this, so could I!

Then I had a brilliant idea (pun intended...you'll see)! The phone! I could use the phone as a butt wiping tool! No, not as THE but wiping tool , but in a support function to the butt wipe process

Yeah, you guessed it. I got out of there by wiping my ass by the glow of my phone's screen. I need to buy me one of those little keychain flashlights....