Longhaired Radical Socialist Jew

Interesting song I heard:

Well, Jesus was a homeless lad
With an unwed mother and an absent dad
And I really don't think he would have gotten that far
If Newt, Pat and Jesse had followed that star
So let's all sing out praises to
That longhaired radical socialist Jew

When Jesus taught the people he
Would never charge a tuition fee
He just took some fishes and some bread
And made up free school lunches instead
So let's all sing out praises to
That long-haired radical socialist Jew

He healed the blind and made them see
He brought the lame folks to their feet
Rich and poor, any time, anywhere
Just pioneering that free health care
So let's all sing out praises to
That longhaired radical socialist Jew

Jesus hung with a low-life crowd
But those working stiffs sure did him proud
Some were murderers, thieves and whores
But at least they didn't do it as legislators
So let's all sing out praises to
That longhaired radical socialist Jew

Jesus lived in troubled times
the religious right was on the rise
Oh what could have saved him from his terrible fate?
Separation of church and state.
So let's all sing out praises to
That longhaired radical socialist Jew

Sometimes I fall into deep despair
When I hear those hypocrites on the air
But every Sunday gives me hope
When pastor, deacon, priest, and pope
Are all singing out their praises to
Some longhaired radical socialist Jew.

They're all singing out their praises to....
Some longhaired radical socialist Jew.

A guy just tried to cut in line for gas and the cops were called!

--

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Getting gas

The lines for gas at the station

Video of Hurricane Wilma

I ventured outside during Hurricane Wilma.

Watch here

Yet another wonderful night without power.
At least we found a pizza joint that had a generator.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

2/2 gs will really be miserable.

Many people at work have had their power restored but alas, I'm outta luck so far!

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

1/2 Due to the lack of open gasoline stations and the curfew, we are only driving to and from work. Pretty boring. When the weather warms up thin

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Powerless

No more walking around at night. There's a 7:00 PM curfew in the tri county area.

There are police checkpoints preventing non residents from entering my neighborhood.

If power isn't restored soon, I'm not sure how I'll get to work when my gas runs out. I may just have to lounge about!

Had Chef Boyardee heated on a gas burner for dinner. Peanut butter on a bagel for dessert.

I really really hope I get power sooner than Nov 22!!

Dinner with gas burner

Just read that estimated time for my area to get electricity restored is November 22nd!!! SHIT!!!

--

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Miami skyline after Wilma

Driving in miami

Wilma Update

The damage done by Wilam is pretty extensive.

• Only 18 of 2,600 street lights are working.
  
• The houseboats by my home were completely destroyed. A 71 year old wheelchair-bound resident of one was rescued from them during the storm.
  
• I saw several cars that had several of their windows blown out due to the air pressure.
  
• Miami is completely dark after 7:00 PM. You can see tons of stars though!
  
• We may be out of power for weeks. We have taken to walking outside at night for entertainment!
  
• Barely any cellphone coverage. I'm thinking my provider's towers ran out of power also.
  
• Hot water is something I dream of.

Food!

The only restaurant in town with power...they have their own generator

Road debris

Streetlights

Many streetlights have been knocked down

More of houseboats

Houseboats

A small community of houseboats destroyed by Wilma

Hurricane Wilma!

Wilma Update

Per the latest advisory, Wilma (now a category 3 hurricane) effects will be felt here around 6 to 10 AM EST.

Radar Loop

Wilma Landfall

Per teh lastest advisory. Landfall in Miami around 6 to 10 AM.

Wilma track

Wilma seems to have veered a bit east. If this is not a mere wobble and it continues onthis track, it looks like I am in the path of the eye of the storm.

Radar Loop

Wilma Radar Loop

Miami is under the 'u' in Fort Lauderdale.

It's going to be a looong night...

Radar Loop

7:59 PM

Slight wind. People still driving towards Miami Beach.

Nothing much going on. Just took a walk outside. We should be getting the 90 MPH winds around 10:00 PM. Making dinner now before the power goes out.

Correction:

Just heard the 8:00 PM hurricane advisory. Wind speeds are up to 110 MPH, making Wilma a Category 3. Greeeeat...

3:33 pm

Brisk wind picking up but no rain yet

Hurricane Wilma!!!

Hurricane Wilma is bearing down on us! My building loses power in the slightest breeze! I know I will be losing power but I will try to send live updates via my cellphone!!

Uhhh no...

Gives a totally different meaning to the word voluptuous

Restless Leg Syndrome

Do you have a hard time falling asleep?
Do you get a 'creepy crawly' feeling as you try to get some rest?
Do you find yourself with a nervous tension keeping you awake at night?
Does your partner always suffer bruises from laying beside you?
Does the 'thump' of a sleeping body falling on the floor continually wake you?
Are you tired of having sexual encounters always involving a sense of danger?
Are the constant jerking off jokes really getting on your nerves?

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Hurricane Wilma

I'm getting ready for Hurricane Wilma. I may be out of power for a while & work will be EXTREMELY hectic.

The next updates may take a while for me to get out.

The Olympic Games

I was thinking about the Olympic Games the other day and I am really looking forward to them. Unfortunately, there are too many events nowadays and since they often occur in the middle of the night where I live, I tend to miss my favorite events.

I think that due to the time difference between countries, viewership of the games has been waning lately. I think that if we go back to the roots of the games, we can greatly increase interest. Remember, the games were started by the Greeks and if we go back to their standards, we can make the Games something worth waiting for!

First of all, we have to decrease the number of events. Today, almost everything is a sport. Just because something is difficult, does not mean it is a sport. Just because you have to practice at an activity, does not make the activity a sport. Farting on command takes a degree of skill, requires practice and is difficult (unless you're ok with having that little 'extra sauce' in your farts) but it's going to be a long time before that's considered a sport!

It seems to me that sports originally arose out of activities that humans undertook for survival or defense (which also assists in survival). We then practiced these activities to increase our likelihood of sticking around. The guys who were really good at running, throwing a spear, fighting, using a bow, etc. had a degree of skill that we marveled at and we naturally wanted to see who was the best. Why did we want to see who was the best? Because we wanted that guy on our hunting team!

Under what Godforsaken situation would you want the best rhythmic gymnast on your team?!?! C'mon. Yay! I can contort to music while playing with toys! I can make the wild beasts die of laughter! Even the bears (who, in the future, would be trained to do EXACTLY the same thing in circuses, albeit against their will) will laugh at me!

Synchronized diving? Synchronized swimming? A good swimmer I can understand the value of. A good diver, well uhhh, maybe under very specific and rare circumstances I could let him into my village to...uhh, catch fish or something. But there's no need to make this a group event! Should I fawn over people who can hold their breath and stick their legs in the air at the same time? No doubt, figuring out what another guy is doing in the water next to you is hard but not particularity useful or amazing. No synchronization allowed in my village! In my village, I need babes & brawns to kill the beasts! Go show your fucking synchronizing abilities to the bear chasing you. I'm sure he'll appreciate the thoughtful way you show off your best body parts so he can leisurely dismember you. No no no, don't bother screaming. The music from the rhythmic gymnast is drowning you out.

And my favorite...trampolining! How useless is this? This is a kid's pastime. a pastime that has somehow become an international event! Something that, once thrown from a sufficient height, a paraplegic could do! OK fine, gravity is doing the bulk of the work but that's what a trampoline is for. They increase the 'difficulty' by making the 'athletes' do a few flips and somersaults. For that, just do the normal gymnastics event.

Trampolining is like the Olympic event for the slow, not so talented, not very limber gymnasts. They are nothing special, yet they have extraordinary ambitions to be the best in the world at something. You know, the delusional normal people we deal with every day.

You're not short, strong & lithe? Not much muscle? No flexibility?
Congratulations! You've been accepted into the national trampolining team!
What's that? You're afraid of heights?
There's a fucking trampoline under you, you idiot! Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, huh?
You mess up, you get a second chance because you bounce!
In fact, you get as many chances as you like, just keep bouncing.

Maybe we should move trampolining to the Special Olympics.


You know what would really liven up the games? Let's play like the Greeks did! Not that I'm a purist or anything. I would like to have women & maybe even the transgendered still allowed to compete but I'm talking about competing naked(PDF)! You know that people all over the planet will be tuning in!

Think of it, we'll really see what the real men are made of! No additional benefits to be gained from scientific shoes or anything of the sort! One greased up body competing against another!

I can just see it now:

Track
Look at those male sprinter's thighs take a beating!
How on Earth is he gong to run with that? Ahhh, he's tripping the leader!
She won the race by a nipple! If it was any warmer she would've been a close second!

High Jump
If his penis was just a tad shorter, he would've slid over that high beam!

Wrestling
Yes Bob! That's the famous teabag submission hold!

Cycling
My my, that looks mighty uncomfortable.

Luge
Look at that, I've never seen a flag placed there!

Hurdling
Ouch!

Relay
No no NO! That's NOT the baton!


Yeah, those minor changes will get things really cooking. I saw the Greeks had it right all along (except for that rampant homosexuality thing)!

Movies Movies

We continued our attendance at the Global Lens film series by the Global Film Initiative, a foundation that promotes cross cultural understanding through cinema.

Fuse
The movie takes place in a small town in Bosnia. The people in the town are trying to rebuild their society after years of civil war and unbridled corruption. They find out that the President of the United States is going to visit the town. The mayor and the civil servants have to do everything they can to clean up the town in time for the visit.

Corruption, bribery, prostitution & dead spirits are everywhere in town and they all have to be cleaned up ASAP. The movie is very funny but there are parts that remind you that this was a war zone and those wounds heal very very slowly.

Unlike other movies, this ending is riveting. I mean, the movie builds suspense to the point you just can't freaking stand it. Then, at the cinematic orgasmic point, you don't know if to laugh or cry at the poor mayor.

Great flick.


Whisky
The president of an old sock factory in Uruguay needs to impress his brother who is coming for a visit. He asks his employee, Marta, to play the part of his wife for the duration of the visit. The factory owner is a dry, sad old man and his brother is a talkative, friendly guy.

I had no idea that humor could be soooo understated. I mean, I have never, never seen so much deadpan humor. After a while you're thinking to yourself, "That was funny right? Yeah, I think that was funny...Ha ha ha ha" I KNEW this was going on because after a few instances of that train of thought going on in my head, I began to laugh. A few times, I was the first one to laugh and then the other people in the theater also began to laugh. In other cases, I took the cue from others in the audience and I followed their laughter.

We decided to rent a few movies also.

The Professional
The guy at the video store said it was the best movie he has ever seen. He also said he had a crush on Natalie Portman. She's 12 in this movie! Freaking pedophile!!

The movie sucked. Skip it. Freaking pedophile...

Bad Boy Bubby
We were wandering around the aisles and I saw this DVD cover, after reading it I thought it would be an interesting flick.

The movie is a bout a man who has been kept in a small room by his mother for his entire life (reminds me of Old Boy). He escapes after a while and then has to deal with a completely foreign world he has never imagined existed.

We were finishing dinner as we put on this movie, about 15 minutes in to it, I suggest that we pause it to put away the dishes. Jeanne says, "No. This is like watching a train wreck. I can't stand to pull myself away from it."

Yeah, 15 minutes into the film and you're already glued to the screen. The movie is just soooo bizarre that you have no idea what's going to happen next.

Bubby (the guy in the room for 30 years) has to be taken care of because although he seems retarded, he isn't he just has the mental age of a little kid. There are some pretty distasteful things that go in that room.

Bubby has a pet cat. Not that he knows how to treat the cat well, but he does play with it. Bubby's favorite toy is cling wrap. The cat becomes intimately familiar with cling warp...dark comedy at it's best!!!

The the various adventures that Bubby has with a rock band, another cat, an adult living facility, and a brief jail term are just so disparate that you really can't figure out what's next. You'll watch this movie in a slight daze of confusion as you just can't believe what you're seeing. I mean, how can a guy who can only repeat sentence fragments he hears be a star member of a rock band? Yup, it happens.

Toward the end, on of the band members give a great monologue to Bubby about humanity's history of 'not getting along' was awesome. Of course, it came out of the blue and was completely unexpected...like everything else! Bizarre, bizarre movie...

Definitely, definitely rent this movie. You JUST HAVE to see the cat & the cling wrap! Man that was funny....

My boss

My boss, waddling at work, working 'under load'

Read this

Now this is good writing and funny stuff!

I Want to Believe!!!

Like many people, I am fascinated by the mysterious and the unexplained. I usually read stories of the unexplained with an open mind, acknowledging that we humans know very little of how the universe functions. Our perceptions and capacities for understanding foreign phenomena may make these strange events seem fantastical yet they may be completely physically possible.

I think that now I am more like Dana Scully from the X-Files. Remember her? She was the doubter of the investigative pair but she really did want to believe, she just needed proof. I really do want to believe in stuff but lately things have been veering me away from belief.

Remember Bigfoot? The video of the guy walking around in the mountains that was an ape-human (or human-ape)? Well, the guy who took the video confessed on his deathbed that its was a lie! A hoax! Bigfoot false! And of course, everything since then was a lie also, just people making up casts of footprints for money.

I must admit I was sort of attached to the guy. A shy, lonely, hairy biped, trying to make his way in the world. No family, well, no close family, we could be considered cousins. Shit! He sounds like me! No wonder I feel this unexplained kinship.

Alas, it was not to be. He never existed.

Unsolved Mysteries: 0
Human Cunning:1

Then we come to our favorite monster of the deep: Nessie! Everyone loves the Loch Ness monster! An Irish chick swimming around naked for several millennia. Sort of like a really really fat mermaid. Well, on yet another death bed, we find that Nessie was also a lie! The Loch Ness monster also never existed. We have to put her in the grave right beside Bigfoot.

Unsolved Mysteries: 0
Human Cunning: 2

I'm not sure if you have ever heard of the Cottingley Fairies but the pictures are pretty famous. Apparently, these two girls were in the woods back in 1917, and they took a few pictures of them playing with fairies. Not gay men, I mean the little creatures that we read about in stories. Not not the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz (who may, or may not have been, gay), but the little people with wings, like the little gal from Peter Pan. So, 60 years later, luckily not on a deathbed, the girls confessed that The Case of the Cottingley Fairies was also a hoax!
Sigh

Unsolved Mysteries: 0
Human Cunning:3

What about crop circles? Those mystical patterns that appear in the middle of the night in a farmer's field? FAKED OUT AGAIN! Crop Circles were admittedly made by a couple of guys. They now have a business where companies pay them to make crop circles. But of course, people being stupid, like to hold on to their beliefs, regardless of their solvency! Idiots. There are STILL people who deny that crop circles were made by humans, even by the ones who admitted it. Blind faith is a dangerous thing. Now, let's think about this, an alien teenager is going to cross the vast, intractable, vast, void, expanse of intergalactic space to come and leave a bunch of graffiti on a poor guy's field? C'mon! If I were capable of intergalactic travel, I could think of millions of better places to go other than Bristol, England!

Unsolved Mysteries: 0
Human Cunning: 4

Recap (read towards the bottom of the page)

OK but what about everyone's hands down favorite? You know what I'm talking about. Area 51, Aliens, UFO's, We are not alone, The abduction phenomena, etc., etc.

This one I really really want to believe in. I mean, statistically, the odds are that there are some other life forms out there. Whether they are intelligent, civilized or vastly civilized are up for discussion. But are they visiting us? If they are, why are they hiding?

Let's suppose that they are performing experiments on us. Suppose they need us for whatever experiments they do. Would they really need to hide? Do we hide when we use lab mice for experiments? Uhhhh. no, we just pick the little rat bastards up by the tail and dip them in whatever solution interests us. Why should aliens be any different? Shit, if I were in charge of the intergalactic missions, I'd just show up, say "I need some volunteers" and take as many people as I like. Hiding would be irrelevant.

Ahh yes, they are supposed to be of a higher intelligence. However, higher intelligence doesn't necessarily mean kinder or wiser, just smarter. I can still be a very smart cruel alien asshole. So let's assume that yes indeed, advanced intelligence does mean a more peaceful nature (I still disagree. Have WE become any nicer since we crawled out of the ocean? One tadpole murders another. One biped murders another. What's the freaking difference?).

OK, so now we have these very nice, smart aliens. They still have to perform experiments right? Why not on us? That we should be subjects makes sense even to my lower intellect! Maybe there are alien factions that disagree with the alien majority. (There could possibly be a AETH (Aliens for the Ethical Treatment of Humans) but if so, why are they hiding?) Furthermore, I know a few scientists. I think they are very nice people, despite the atrocities made on rats & turtles for the sake of science. Aliens may be very nice to other aliens, but as testing subjects we aren't privy to those niceties.

OK, so what kind of experiments would totally alien beings need us for. Alien cosmetics? Not from the accounts I have read. No one has said, "The aliens put this indescribable eyeshadow on me". Nope, it's always a probe in the ass. Medical trials, maybe? Nope, a probe in the ass or an implant. Genetic testing? Maybe, if they take it out of your colon.

It seems to me that these experiments are generally orifice oriented. A probe in your mouth, a probe in your ass, look in your ears, then take sharp rod and stick it somewhere where there is no orifice, thereby making a new orifice! Sticking things into orifices seems to be a distinct human behavior.

Let's suppose you're walking on the beach. You find an interesting animal laying there that you have never seen before. It's wiggling around but not doing much else. What's the first thing you are going to do to investigate this creature? That's right! Run up the beach, find a stick and shove it up its ass! That'll tell you definitely what type of animal it is.

As a matter of fact, from now on, whenever you see one of these creatures, you will have your special ass poking stick on hand and you will sneak up on the creature to poke it in the ass. Yeah, that's the ticket! An unsuspecting deep ass poke will let you know sooooo much about this creature that you can write your dissertation on it. Listen, animal or alien, you've poked one ass, you've poked them all (and I am speaking in scientific terms only...other types of ass poking with other types of ass poking sticks may be allowable, as long as it is remains within one species).

UFO crashes. Roswell. Yeah, I can understand that aliens aren't perfect and their ship can crash. But do they have to crash in just the right spot so that the governments of the world can scoop them up before us? Airplanes crash during daylight. Why not UFO's?

You: "But what about those lights in the sky I saw?"
Me: "You saw lights in the sky? "
You: "Yeah. They were moving all around!"
Me: "What do you think it was?"
You: "It was a UFO man! They're here! They're here!"
Me: "No you idiot! What you saw was...are you listening?"
You: "Yeah yeah yeah!! What did I see? I saw a UFO right!"
Me: "What you saw was some fucking lights in the sky! That's it! Lights in the fucking sky! That's it! Wooooooo Mystery solved!"
You: "Yeah but I didn't know what they were!"
Me: "Well, no shit Sherlock! Like you know everything! That's why we are having this conversation! Just because you don't know what they are doesn't mean that they are aliens, dumbfuck!"
You (in a moment of lucidity): "Yeah, you may have a point there."
You (after the moment passes): "But those lights were moving in ways that are physically impossible for something to move in. I saw a 90 degree turn and no sound!"
Me: "Wow. I didn't know you were a FUCKING DOCTORAL student in theoretical physics! A freaking silver balloon reflecting light can make a 90 degree turn in the wind with no sound! Maybe it is possible! You think the government tells us everything they know? Just because you don't know what they are doesn't mean that they are aliens."

Note: The 'you' used in the preceding example was used in the editorial sense and not in any specific manner.


Don't get me wrong, I think it would be waay cool to see aliens but I will have to pass on the anal probe ritual. No no no, that just won't do. I don't mean to offend but you see, it's just not my style.

How great would it be to learn from an alien civilization and leap frog ahead technologically? So far, the proof is starting to convince me less & less. I can't even count on Bigfoot anymore!

Movies movies movies

Saw several movies this weekend.

We rented three movies:

Mean Machine
Mean Machine is based on 'The Longest Yard' and stars Vinnie Jones, the guy from 'The Transporter'. It's a British movie and although it was based on the same story as the American version, I know that any movie without Adam Sandler is better than any one with Adam Sandler.

Basically the movie centers around a soccer game between the cons & the guards. Danny Meehan (the main character) is an ex-soccer hero that is now in prison and he has to coach the cons. The movie is pretty funny and the humor is fast paced and not slapstick at all. I found that we had to rewind several scenes to catch the dialog since the jokes were fast & furious.

Even though they all speak intelligible English, I would suggest you turn the captions on anyways, so you won't miss the jokes. Very good movie.

Ohh and if you do rent it, you just HAVE to get a load of the governor's eyebrows! Can't believe that human eyebrows could look like that. After writing that last sentence, I did some research and I found this!!!

And more eyebrow humor!

East is East
Another British film. I thought this movie was going to be so-so but it turned out to be very good, better than Mean Machine. A Pakistani immigrant arrives in London and marries an English girl. Fast forward 25 years and we see the father of 6 boys & 1 girl try to raise his family in the traditional Pakistani way...even though they are in England, arranged marriages and all.

It was interesting to see Middle Easterners speak with a bloody English accent! The humor was not as biting as Mean Machine but it is a definite good rental prospect.

Triplets of Belleville(Les Triplettes de Belleville)
This was by far the BEST movie of the bunch! I accompanied Jeanne as she was taking a few journalists out and during a very solemn, boring dinner, I brought up the subject of foreign films. What do you know? They were all fans of foreign films and we traded best movies. The triplets was one of their recommendations. We went to the local foreign video store and rented it.

The movie is completely animated. Not quite American animation and not Japanese anime. Strange, yet very nice animation effects. We turned on the captions but we found out we needn't have bothered. The story is told with barely any dialog!

Three cyclists are abducted and the mother of one goes on a quest to find him. Along the way, she befriends a trio of sisters that used to perform on stage and the quartet go in search of the missing cyclists.

Although I have no grasp of the French language (where the most famous sentence is, " I surrender!") the song that the triplets sing is extremely catchy! Damn them. It's the type of song that keeps running around your heard incessantly!

Definitely go rent this one. For those of you with kids, it's ok for them too.

Today & Tomorrow
This Argentine flick deals with a girl who has a blue collar job but aspires to be an actress. She's way behind on her bills and she needs to come up with 300 pesos before she's evicted two days from today (hence the title).

What's a pretty young Argentine thing going to do to survive? Well, first she goes to her friends and family begging for money. This doesn't work out for her and she ends up going into prostitution. We see her learn the ropes and get cheated in the process.

All told, the movie was BORING. The director did an excellent job of portraying Argentines. The main character always has this attitude of superiority, despite her being basically destitute, that really prevents you from feeling anything for her.

"Yes, we are Argentine! Yes, we cannot keep our country solvent! Yes, our economy is in shambles! But we are still better than you!"

Bleh...

So this chick with a superiority complex get fired from her waitressing job. Good for her!
She freaks out on her dad, whom she hasn't visited in four months, when he won't give her the money.
Her friends are coy about giving her any money.
And of course, she looks at everyone with disdain since how DARE they not come to her salvation...
She calls a friend to show her the prostitution business.
She freaks out on the first john and runs out of the car.
She gets lucky and meets a john who is actually nice and pays her 150 pesos.
She goes to a nightclub and gets robbed by a policeman.
She figures out she has to work some more.
She calls up the nice john and he say if she sleeps over at his place the entire night, he'll pay 300 pesos.
In the middle of the night, the IDIOT wakes up and tries to sneak out of the apartment.
The guy catches up to her and takes 200 pesos from her. So much for that sugar daddy...
She courts another older john and he's really rough with her.
She screams, " I'm not a whore! I'm not a whore!" suuuuure you aren't...
She catches a cab and the cab driver lends her some street wisdom.
Movie ends with her running along a pier.

Yeah I know, even reading that brief description was boring. What an idiot, hello...sleep for a few hours with a guy and you'll have your rent paid. What a fool.

Skip this one but definitely see the Triplets of Belleville.

The Mystery

EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American
Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just
didn't
get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to
do.

Hmmm...how does a woman feed a crowd at a moment's notice if she's not lactating?

New Orleans

I keep hearing about rebuilding New Orleans & how people want to return & rebuild their homes. I think they are crazy!

C'mon. You're not living at AT sea level but UNDER sea level and in an extremely hurricane prone area. You also know that your protection from flooding (the levees) cannot withstand anything over a Cat 3 storm. You know that when (not if) a hurricane hits, everything will be destroyed.

Then, the eventual disaster occurs and everything is gone. Now you say you want to go back? Let's make something clear here.

Going back, implies repetition.

Let's try that again since you appear to be so fond of it.

Going back, implies repetition.

You want to return and repeat what just happened to you in a later period of time? Is this logical? I mean, if you run red lights and you get a few huge tickets, then due to the negative consequences of getting fined, you stop running red lights. What's the difference?

Granted, one reason could be sentimental attachment. Per Buddha, and the Four Noble Truths, tanha is a cause of suffering. Further analysis of Tanha, reveals that worldly desires cannot be fully satiated or satisfied, due to their impermanent nature.

I don't quite understand why so many people are attached to their homes. It's just a building where you spent some time. Go spend some time elsewhere. You'll get attached there also. Then what the fuck are you gonna do?

Me? I'm attached to my hands, teeth, feet, my head. You know, things that are really attached. I'd fight tooth & nail to keep my teeth & nails. If all else fails, I would certainly go to a dentist or manicurist to have them rebuilt but then again, I, by necessity(and preference), have to carry my attachments with me. Those types of attachments I can understand. Attachments to places that will be destroyed again, I don't quite get.

The disaster was a natural event. Shit happens. When bad shit happens, get out of the way. If bad shit keeps on happening or you get tired of the shit, you know what? YOU MOVE AWAY FROM THE SHIT!

I hear you know, "But the history of the place. That's where jazz was born...." etc, etc. You remember Atlantis? There's another city that was below sea level, the sea came in and the city
was gone. Nature happens. We have to deal with it. We humans have this obsession with stability and maintenance. Endangered species? Fuck 'em! Let them die! That's nature! How many species have become extinct before us? Based on the history of the planet, about 99%!! So what if we are the cause of a few extinctions? We are part of the planet and we'll probably be extinct eventually also. Nature happens! Deal with it.

So we spend $3 billion to rebuild New Orleans better than it was before. Do you really think that the city will be around in 1,000 years? Nope. Most of cities won't be here by then. I say spread the wealth give the people the money. If you want to move back to living UNDER the sea, the place that took our species millions of years to get out of in the first place, go right ahead. Go back to living next to our degenerate genetic cousins from the ocean, you guys are a definite pothole in the road to evolution.

Don't spend $3 billion rebuilding a city. Spend $150 million on Uhauls and get the people out of there.

OK OK so what if I live in Miami? I KNOW there are hurricanes. I EXPECT hurricanes. I HAVE insurance. If my home gets completely destroyed by a flood or hurricane and I lose everything I have, I'll just move away. No big deal.

My thought process would probably go like this:
Me: "Shit, I'm fucked!"
Me: "But at least I have my teeth and nails!"
Me: "I do have my teeth & nails right?"
(I check my body parts.)
Me: "OK, let me get my insurance money and get away from this place."

You see that? No big shakes, no big drama. Just go where it's safer. Let's repeat that.

Just go where it's safer.

It's a great simple rule. That simple rule has actually allowed our species to propagate and has helped develop into a relatively decent level of civilization. Let's not turn our back on our tried & true friend. It has helped us unwaveringly though the countless eons. Through think and thin, the people that always survived followed that rule. Let's do them justice. In their memory, c'mon now,

Just go where it's safer.

Small Claim to Fame!!

If you go to Google and type in the words "Sedanos corporate headquarters", you'll find that this blog is on the first page of results!!!

Hanging Out

Here we are hanging out on the deck of the boat in front of the Bernal glacier.

Ice Fields

Videos of the Zodiac going through the ice fields.

Watch it.

Wake up!!

Every morning during our cruise in Patagonia, we were woekn up by the Guest Services dude talking loudly through our telephone's speaker system.

Hear it here. (Internet Explorer)

More Patagonia

I have decided to revisit our pics from our trip to Patagonia. Now that I figured out how to videoblog, I will post a few videos of our trip tomorrow.



A shot of the Bernal Glacier with our liferaft in the foreground



A picture that belongs in a calendar!


Our group in a Zodiac equipped with ice cutters to travel through the icefields. The captain went up to the glacier, chipped off several pieces of ice, placed them in individual glasses and poured each of us a cup of Jack Daniels.
As he served us, he says, "Here you go. 12 year old whisky with 12,000 year old ice!"

The Whisky (on ice)

The Pour

Our cruise ship

Another picture of the ice fields that belongs in a calendar somewhere!


Our raft in front of the Bernal Glacier

The Kawesqar

This is a picture of a Kawesqar Indian on Williams Island. Note that although the Wikipedia article I referenced said 23 remain, I updated Wikipedia with the right number, 6. There are only 6 Kawesqar Indians left.

This guy asked for 5 Chilean pesos for the 'privilege' of taking his pic with the basket we just bought. After a quick calculation we realized that we would be paying about 5 cents for the pic in US currency, we gave him the cash.

You know, when the Europeans discovered the Kawesqar, they found them so ugly, the enslaved them and put them on display in cages in Europe. You just gotta love civilization huh?

History of Violence

Saw A History of Violence last weekend. It got 8 out of 10 stars at IMDb but I wouldn't give it that many stars.

For those of you that still want to see it go ahead, I'll try not to spoil anything, but be forewarned, there's only one surprise in the movie, and it's not a very big one, at that. After that, there's nothing left to spoil.

Here's my recap:

The movie starts off with an OK fight scene.
Then, a few mobsters come to town. They drive around in a scary black car.
Boredom quickly sets in (for the audience).
A kid gets picked on by a bully.
More boredom (at this point in the film, I noticed that the projector has three blinking lights, one red, one yellow, one green. Can you tell I was bored?)
Kid smokes pot.
A pretty intense yet unbelievable sex scene on the stairs.
More boredom (at this point I think I counted 4 ceiling fans in the theater. The one farthest from me was in deep shadows and I couldn't see it very well. Yes, non moving ceiling fans were more entertaining than this movie).
Another pretty intense fight scene.
More boredom (Jeanne 'shhh'ed' a couple and I screamed "hey hey hey" to shut up the old farts sitting next to us).
Kid fights bully. Father slaps kid (no fight scene).
The gangster boss meets the main character.
A few funny scenes take place.
Another fight.
Movie has the absolutely most unthrilling, nonsensical, anticlimactic ending I have ever seen.
Movie Ends

I always found myself waiting for the plot to appear and take the story somewhere and then, BAM, the movie ends.

Lord of War

I saw the movie Lord of War before I went on vacation. It was surprisingly good.

The rationalization that Cage has about what he does is actually fascinating and it does make sense. However, the ATF agent, near the end goes into a rant and expresses what we all feel about violence, guns, etc.

Then Cage, tells the ATF agent what is really going to happen next and how he's not going to go to jail. That part was very revelatory and I am POSITIVE that the shit really does happen that way. My thoughts are suported by the fact that the story was based on true events and we have all learned that our government is pretty corrupt.

Go watch or rent it!!

The movie was mostly believable but Nicolas Cage (the arms dealer) was being pursued by an ATF agent. The agent finds out where he was going by searching thorugh Cage's garbage and reconstructing a shredded plane itinerary. If you're an arms dealer, you're not stupid. USE A CROSS HATCH PAPER SHREDDER!! They have them for $30 at Office Depot!!

Here are a few tips when travelling to an African country as an arms dealer:

• NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER PISS OFF THE DICTATOR
• 1 in 6 people have AIDS
• Africans are poor. Take a sandwich
• Hotels have no air conditioning
• Smile & laugh at the dictator's jokes
• Give him a discount
• Don't tell him where you live in the USA
• Get an unlisted phone number
• Don't get drunk (see bullet #2)

Arizona - Day 10

Arizona - Day 9

Arizona - Day 8

Arizona - Day 7

Arizona - Day 6

Las Vegas - Day 4

Las Vegas - Day 5

Las Vegas - Day 3

Las Vegas - Day 2

Las Vegas - Day 1